


Good Enough

by Maxmerica



Category: One Day at a Time (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, No Ending, Panic Attacks, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Pregnancy, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23662732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxmerica/pseuds/Maxmerica
Summary: Once the joy of Avery’s announcement wears off Schneider’s mind goes to a dark place
Relationships: Avery/Schneider (One Day at a Time)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Despite the episode not even being 24 hours old I just had to write something

Once the excitement of Avery’s announcement died out and Schneider actually had time to think about what Avery being pregnant actually meant, what was once joy was swiftly replaced with fear. Avery was going to have a baby. He was going to be a father. He had no idea how. All he knew was that he wasn’t going to be like HIS father. But what if he was? What if he was broken? What if no matter what he did he ended up fucking up thier kid the same way his father fucked him up? What if he was worse? That question, the constant what if kept him up at night. He knew in some much more rational part of his brain that he wasn’t his father. That he wasn’t going to suddenly turn into the man he had spent so much of his life trying to get some small scrap of approval from. But that didn’t stop him from worrying. He knew that he not only had Avery in his corner but he had the whole Alvarez family backing him up. After all Alex and Elena had excitedly announced that they were going to be tíos to the baby. He knew it was irrational but he still worried. He still feared. He hadn’t told anyone, not even Penelope. He knew deep down that she wouldn’t judge him. Especially not after she met his father a year ago. Maybe all his bad feelings, all his anxieties would disappear once the baby came. But what if they never did? How could he be a good father when he had all this fear and doubt? He knew from countless AA meetings that keeping these kinds of things bottled up could lead to relapse. Oh God he hadn’t even thought about that. Now he was even more certain that he wasn’t going to be good enough. Not a good enough partner. Not a good enough father. And he was to blame. Because he was a useless addict and that’s all he would ever be. Suddenly the room felt too warm and Schneider had to go. Where didn’t matter. All that mattered was he got out of the too hot too small bedroom before he suffocated. Sprinting as quickly and quietly as he could Schneider raced to the living room and lay down on the couch. Without warning he began to cry. Thinking quickly he grabbed a pillow to muffle his sobs. The last thing he needed was to wake Avery and force her to deal with his issues. He should and would deal with his issues himself. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t burden her with his trivial problems and fears. Especially not when she was growing a little person inside her. He was tempted to call or text Penelope but that wouldn’t be fair to her. Her and Max were perfect together. He would probably be intruding on a moment between them or something. Since he was going to be a father he had to take care of himself alone. It was the only responsible thing. But still he wished he had a magic wand to fix himself. 

**Author's Note:**

> My first story for this fandom! :)


End file.
